Why Never Giving Up is the Best Idea

“Nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost legendary.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Perseverance and determination alone are omnipotent.”

~ U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

As a young girl growing up, I was surrounded by towering mountains in Wallowa County. Mountains full of trails to traverse and high lakes to be enjoyed. So you can imagine, with one said mountain top being Ruby Peak nearly knocking at my parents’ backdoor, of course, I clocked a few hours hiking.

In the middle of a journey on a new trail, all I could see was a few feet behind me (where I’d been) and as far ahead as the next switchback. Sometimes the hike up would be a couple of miles and in a few rare instances it was closer to eight or ten. Either way, with a new trail comes the unknown of just when that beautiful, pristine lake would peer around the next bend to welcome me. However, each adventure I took up the mountain didn’t end until I reached my destination.

Upon savoring the beauty of either the deep blues of the water or surreal vantage points of the highest point, the return trip provided certainty. I knew how many switchbacks there would be. I remembered the creek that had to be hopped across, and I also knew when I’d see my car at the bottom – no uncertainty. But you see, it wasn’t until I made the initial journey that I could appreciate all that lead me to where I wanted to go.

Each one of us is on a journey, and based on the many emails I receive from you, my readers, I know that many of you are in the middle of striving toward the goal you have set for yourself. Whether it’s a professional or personal goal, working towards a promotion or strengthening your relationship, I genuinely believe so long as you are heading in the right direction, never giving up is the best idea.
Why? Let me explain.


1. Tomorrow hasn’t been written yet. You just might be surprised what is waiting to present itself to you. While the history books have all be written, the future has yet to reveal itself. And while we would like to predict what will happen or hope against hope what we don’t want to materialize, nobody really knows for sure what tomorrow will bring.  All we can do is put our best foot and efforts forward each and every day and let the cards fall where they may. All the more reason to never give up so that regrets have no soil from which to grow.

2. The only way to make the world a better place is to never give up on what it can become. I refuse to believe that anything is impossible. Change is possible, but it is not going to come easy. Nothing ever worth having ever has. So you might get tired, you may become doubtful that things will work out, your relationship may be going through a rough patch, but the only way any one of these scenarios has a chance is if you refuse to give up.

3. Don’t believe the nay-sayers. The nay-sayers have already given up, so the negativity that they perceive will remain for them in their world because they’ve thrown up their hands. You, on the other hand, will see a different world because your efforts will magnify the positive and hone in on what is possible so long as you refuse to give up.

4. Real happiness (which I define as contentment) is worth the effort. If you’re not happy, you do not have to accept this state of existing. You can change your state of mind, thus changing your world. You can change your environment so long as you are willing to do something different than what landed you in the situation you are in now. It will take work, willingness to learn and ability to take constructive criticism, but you deserve to find real happiness (contentment) so long as you put in the effort.

5. You are unique. Stop comparing yourself to others. Just because someone else has tried what you are attempting to do and didn’t succeed, doesn’t mean your fate will be the same. And just because someone’s success came about a particular way, doesn’t mean yours will follow that exact same path. Every individual has different experiences that have molded them into the person they are today and no one but that particular individual knows their back story. In other words, you are unique. Once you accept this, you will understand that your story will be like no one else’s so long as you refuse to give up.

6. Reach your full potential. Having ambition is not a horrible quality. In fact, it should be an admirable quality. However, while admired and appreciated by some, it can also unfortunately build up envy by those who aren’t willing to put in the time and exhausting hours. Defined as “a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work”, Shakespeare’s depiction of Julius Caesar’s downfall supposedly caused by having ambition is discovered to actually be what was most envied about him from those who assassinated him. The most important thing to remember is that each one of us has the ability to achieve our potential so long as we put in the incalculable hours toward reaching our goals – writing a novel, building a strong, supportive, loving and respectful family, being accepted into and earning a full tuition scholarship to the college of our dreams. Each of our dreams can be achieved so long as you refuse to give up.

7. Be an example and inspiration for others. As a child I can remember a few people who I looked up to and being amazed at what they were able to do – Michael Jordan’s basketball skills, a favorite English teacher’s smashing wardrobe (just to name a few) – and while they may have never even known who I was or that I was impressed, they left a permanent impression on me. See, that’s the extra gift that we often forget about as we’re charging forward toward our dreams. Someone may be watching and may be more inspired than you realize by what you are determined to do. And when you achieve whatever it is that you are after, they will believe that they can achieve it too. Refuse to give up.

“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence is the key to unlocking our potential.” ~Winston Churchill

As you continue to climb that mountain in search of what you seek, be reassured by the fact that just because you don’t know when the beautiful destination will reveal itself, doesn’t mean it won’t. Keep hiking.

~Similar posts you might also enjoy from the archives:

*Why Not . . . Invest in Your Dreams?

*The Perfect Couple

*Easy is Never Appreciated

*Why Not . . . Have Patience?

*Little by Little, Grand Things Are Achieved 

Images: (1) pinterest 

Using Failures as Guideposts to Success

In the October issue of Harper’s Bazaar (US), actress Kate Walsh shares her thoughts on being appreciative that success didn’t arrive until well into her mid-thirties (“I Made It After 35”, pg 256). A wonderful article documenting her struggle, she reflects on the many lessons she was taught in the journey through her twenties, and how thankfully she was able to navigate these times without the hindrance of fame, so that when it did finally arrive, she knew what to let roll off her back and how to appropriately handle situations that had they occurred earlier in her life, she made not have handled as gracefully.

Recently, I have received a handful of Ask Shannon emails about what to do when life doesn’t go as you had planned. In nearly each email, the women were highly successful and reaching for grand goals. And while from my perspective, they were clearly quite successful but had bumped up against some adversity that would require of them to create a new plan of action, they were frustrated, doubtful and a bit uncertain of what to do next.

All three of these emotions are common and understandable because when we invest our time into any venture, it is beyond disappointing to be denyed (initially) because we haven’t made a plan for the alternative . . . yet.

The fact that we respond so strongly to moments such as these is actually a good sign of where our passions lay. These moments can reveal a lot about who we are, what we desire, what we believe we are capable of and the true depth of our strength depending upon how we respond.

Life would be a wonderful utopia if everything we ever wanted came true, and we weren’t confronted by roadblocks; however, we know that is not the case. On the outside, it may seem that other people are spoon-fed a better lot than us, but we have to cast aside this comparison because we only have control over ourselves and the situations that present themselves to us.

It is our job to allow these setbacks, these long bouts of waiting and wondering to be molded in to a time when we choose to develop our talents, our creativity, and our strength, so that when the amazing moments arrive, we can grab them with both hands and make the most of them without taking them for granted.

Today I’d like to share with you ways to better navigate after the initial setback has occurred, so that you are continuously moving forward toward the intended success that that particular failure was intended to lead you toward.

1. Focus on small goals that will help lead to the larger goal. Achieving small successes along the way is what will gradually, but steadily, improve your confidence to believe that you can indeed be successful. Such successes may not be viewed by the outer world as much of an accomplishment, but if it’s something you have finally completed for the first time (speaking in front of a group of people about your business plan, writing your first blog post, or finally getting on a plane to see the other side of the country), it is a success and you should allow these successes to lift you up.

2. Refuse to be deterred. For example, if your first round of attempts to find a publisher or literary agent aren’t successful, keep trying. You may have to change your proposal, you may have to change your direction slightly, but keep trying. The only people who never taste the deliciousness of success are those who throw in the towel. You may not end up where you thought you’d end up, but it is my understanding through experience and observance of others’ examples that life is guiding you to where you have the potential to one day be, but in order to get there, you must not stop.

“You don’t have to have all the big answers right now. Just ask the questions and keep asking the questions. Let them simmer in your life. The answers will arrive when you are ready.” –Eckhart Etolle

3. Look up to role models. When you are in the trenches trying to figure out which way you should go and/or how you’re going to pick yourself up, look to people who have been there before you and have come out the other side successfully. In times of doubt, look to concrete examples that prove that someone that was on a similar journey as yourself made it work. If you are struggling novelist, look to J.K. Rowling. If you’re a struggling chef, look to Julia Child. If you’re a struggling entrepreneur, look to Henry Ford. In other words, lean on them. Be inspired by them as you establish faith that everything will work out.

One of the most frustrating parts about making a plan or setting goals is that often the world doesn’t agree with our timeline. But the essential element we must never forget is that in order to create the life we desire, we do have to know what we want and we do have to have a plan of attack. In the meantime, we must also pack our patience and know that as we become better at navigating what the world throws at us, eventually a wonderful life will reveal itself. And in essence, it is sort of like a gift because we never are quite sure when it will arrive, but we can be certain that due to our efforts, that it at least has a very, very strong chance of showing up. And that . . . that is what makes all the effort, time and nights of questioning and endless doubts worth it.

Images: (1)  pinterest 

The Weekend . . .

“If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.”

I recently came across this quote, and I couldn’t help but nod my head in agreement.  It is easy to keep plugging away at your dreams when things are going well, support is favorable and your confidence is high, but when you end up rammed up against obstacles that refuse to get our of your way, it sometimes seems easier to stop.

Whenever this happens, I would advise you to think of the quote above. If indeed it is something you are wholeheartedly passionate about – a particular career, a relationship, college degree, etc, pass the test that the universe is throwing at you, and keep striving forward. In essence, put your stilettos on and put your best foot forward even when others would throw up their hands in defeat.

What do you want? What legacy do you want to leave behind? Take some time, write your thoughts down if you need to vent or navigate what you’re feeling and why, and then keep pushing, but don’t give up.

I realize this is more of a Monday post than a weekend post, but sometimes we need motivation at the end of the week as well. I hope you have had a wonderful week, and if you are celebrating Easter, I wish you a lovely time with family.  If you are simply looking forward to the weekend, do enjoy and revel in making it your own.

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The Perfect Couple

“He that can have patience,

can have what he will.”

-Benjamin Franklin

Good wine, sun ripened tomatoes, the appreciation of a home’s value, and vintage clothing all have one thing in common – time.  In other words, someone recognized the potential value in each of these subjects and decided to wait, to hold back . . . to have patience. 

Let’s continue this game.  What do these concepts have in common? Weight loss, earning a degree, becoming CEO of a company, training for a marathon and becoming a New York Times best selling author?  The theme is most definitely perseverance coupled with . . . you’ve got it - patience.

Patience is a hard quality for those who are ambitious to master because everybody seems to want it now . . . everything now.  At first glance it is assumed that patience is asking you to be wasteful of your time or even worse, to be lazy.  But it is quite the contrary.

Patience involves staying focused, continuing to hone one’s skill, talent or craft, waiting for the perfect opportunity when both your skills are at their best and the opportunity is at its highest potential. So in order to allow your patience to pay off, you must, while you are waiting, continue to persevere.  Use the time in limbo to improve, grow, learn, mouths shut (unless to ask questions), and ears open.

Look at it this way, “ . . . impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.”  But the success can’t come, if you are remaining idle in the same spot and not furthering yourself.  The bachelors degree that you now mindlessly include on your resume took most likely four years – four years – not just a few days to attain.  And then finishing graduate school, again more time.  Always remember that your first day on the job, or the first attempt at any hope of a successful venture will not be pretty, but if you’re willing to put your nose to the grindstone and stop looking up so often, you’ll accomplish everything you’ve hoped for and most likely, more than you had ever imagined.  After all, as Ralph Waldo Emerson reminds us, with “patience and fortitude [we can] conquer all things.”

I believe without question that patience and perseverance must be married simply because while being patient, you must continue to strive forward, to work towards your dreams and allow yourself to learn, make mistakes and learn some more.  It is in this process that one grows and comes closer to their definition of success. 

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” Cheers to that.

Have a wonderful Monday and a patient step toward your future success in whatever arena it might be found.

Images: (1)  Source 

Easy is Never Appreciated

“The progress of your life

toward peak experiences

in all aspects of living

will take time.

Arrive at new ways

gradually, and you will

leave your old ways

too far behind

for easy return.”

Patience, patience, patience.  Another quote that I’ve always played back in my mind works equally well here, but is a bit less eloquent, “In time, the grass turns to milk.”

Regardless of which aphorism you gravitate towards, the message remains the same – stay the course, one step at a time preceding in the same direction toward your goal.

It is so much simpler to believe such advice when you’re sitting at the other end, having reached your intended destination, but for those of us who are still grappling up the ladder, at times feeling as though we are barely hanging on, it seems the destination will never be reached.
 
Instead of looking for inspiration from someone who has succeeded (if that doesn’t work for you), why not look back upon your own successes? Even if they appear to be small, they are indeed a source of inspiration that you can hold on to, reminding you that you can stay focused.  Remember when you were a weary freshman, and it seemed ages before you would be the “wise” senior in school?  In hindsight, the time flew and all it took was steps forward in the right direction.

 Or how about that most desired object or trip or first home which seemed a million miles away.  You eventually purchased it after working two, sometimes three jobs or excruciatingly long hours in your career field –  you may not have enjoyed each step, but you made it because you could smell the scent of sweet reward at the end.
 
The thing I believe many people forget is that discouragement and impatience weed out the wannabes.  Millions of people want to be published, but the few it seems that do, simply followed through.  Settling and impatience and the belief that you don’t deserve what you are willing to work for are all thoughts that need to be eliminated from your mind if success is your goal.

Agreed, some have it much easier in getting and reaching their dreams, but do they appreciate it as much as you will when you arrive at your desired destination?  It doesn’t matter, because you aren’t them. You have but one life, stop making excusing and step forward – again, and again and again.. . .   Each step will not be enjoyable, but so many others will be, and ultimately, you have to want it badly enough to persevere.

So today, I give you a twofer.  A nod to the movie Hitch:


"Do you know the definition of ‘perseverance’, Miss Melas?  Continuing in a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure.”

Remain determined, and let the others slowly become impatient because it truly comes down to, how badly do you want to make it happen? After all, nothing worth having ever came easy.

Have a most lovely start to your week.

Images: pinterest