Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? Part Trois

Today, the Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? series moves into Part Three (if you’d like to check out Part One or Two, click on the respective links) and with it, some final finishing points regarding behavior, beauty, dating and success. Have a look and don’t be shy about leaving a comment.  I have thoroughly been enjoying and appreciative of all of the comments thus far, and look forward to hearing your opinion and thoughts on today’s ideas of what it means to be a modern lady. Let’s get started.

Be Well-Groomed

Nothing reveals self-respect more than how you present yourself, so consider your grooming regimen – haircuts, highlights, color, manicures, pedicures, skincare and such, should be mandatory items on your to-do list.  Not only will you feel better, but knowing you look your best will demonstrate to others your high standards without saying a word.

Eliminate Gossip

There are few things that are more contradictory than seeing a beautiful, respectable woman who speaks poorly of others. Remember the old adage, “Small minds talk about people, average minds talk about events, and great minds talk about ideas.”  Raise your standards and set an example, you might be surprised as to how those around you will respond.

Don’t Be A Tease

When it comes to dating, a modern lady is confident with who she is and doesn’t need to be someone she is not to impress the opposite sex; therefore, eliminate the games.  A modern lady doesn’t lead any man on to believe she is interested if she isn’t. While this will require extreme tact and courtesy so that feelings aren’t hurt, it is better to be honest, yet respectful, up front so no one becomes embarrassed and hurt. 

Becoming Behavior

There are many things that have changed when it comes to being a lady with the culture and world that we live in today, but some things tend to remain the same, or at least similar.  A modern lady watches her alcohol and doesn’t drink too much, nor does she exhibit uncouth behavior.  It all comes back to Part One - keep an air of mystery. Sometimes it really is better to observe and take things in. Besides, just because you think something, doesn’t mean you have to share it with the world.  Often, upon reflection, our initial reactions are merely that – reactions – something that occurs without thought, so be sure to always check yourself and make certain you would be comfortable with a particular decision in hindsight.

Stop Apologizing

A person who feels they are in an inferior position is often the one who feels they have to apologize.  Now I’m not saying that apologizing when you’ve done something you know you shouldn’t have done isn’t proper – absolutely not. What I’m merely getting at is apologizing for doing something with good intentions.  Yes, you will make a mistake, you might and most likely will, step on someone’s toes if you’re continually trying to grow and improve, but why should you apologize for someone else’s insecurity? As one reader commented, a modern lady doesn’t apologize for her success, and I couldn’t agree more. Refuse to allow yourself to be belittled because the only reason “bullies” try to make you feel as though they are superior is because they want the control that they think you have.  Keep striving, keep being you because you are amazing.

Be Someone You’d Admire

Who do you look up to in this world? Who do you admire, respect and wish you could be like? So many of us can quickly rattle off at least one or two people who lead lives we dream of, lives that we feel would be very fulfilling, gratifying and enjoying, so the modern lady difference is why not be someone you’d look up to and admire?  A modern lady decides to put her life in her own hands and mold it into the fine masterpiece that will be her life’s art. Have you started yet? Do you have a vision of what your life will look like? No matter where you are in this process, you too can be an amazing modern lady, and most likely, already are, but it all begins with becoming someone you’d admire.

The Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? series is concluding today, but not without great support, lively feedback full of agreement and disagreement.  I genuinely appreciate all of the feedback as it helps to consider all viewpoints and perspectives.  Feel free today to go back over the three part series and add to the list, agree, disagree, modify – whatever you feel like. There are many more items I’ve been thinking about adding, but might just have to save them for some time in the future.

I hope you’ve enjoyed it because I sincerely have.  This idea that a woman can lead an extraordinary unique life in the world we live in today is something I believe in wholeheartedly.  And I couldn’t agree more with Oscar de la Renta.  Never before as there been a time when a woman had such control over her destiny. And believe me I’m grabbing the reins, are you?

Images: (0) This is Glamorous (1) La Bella Vita (2)  Wet Behind the Ears (3) We Heart It (4) Garance Dore (5) Apartment 34 (6) Source

Why Not . . . Make a Small Tweak?

It always amazes me how the smallest things can bring a great deal of pleasure and happiness.  In last month’s newsletter which focused on fitness, I suggested to my subscribers to set small goals, little tweaks in their lifestyle that would eventually add up to lasting results.  I also promised that the results of the changes I had incorporated as of late June  would be shared on the blog at the end of July (and I do, I promise – just read the first two suggestions to see how I did).

But my wheels began to turn about the concept of making small tweaks in our lifestyles that can yield very consequent results. And with that said, a new Why Not series came into being.
Throughout the next three weeks on Wednesday, I will propose suggestions of small tweaks that can improve the quality of your life whether it be in the area of health, organization, serenity, beauty and other aspects of your life that are often attempted but aren’t adhered to consistently due to lack of time, energy or the acceptance of the reality that a major change is hard.

This is precisely why the tweaks, or changes, I am going to suggest should be small.  By making simple small tweaks, the change is more likely to stick permanently because they only slightly impose on your life as it is, thus making it easier to do repeatedly (because in our minds, it’s easy to do) and the more often you are repeatedly doing it, the more likely it is to become a habit. Let’s get started.

Pay Attention

In other words, do one thing at a time so that you are conscious of what you are doing.  Americans are well-known for being multi-taskers, but in participating in this habit, the quality diminishes, because something isn’t being done well, it is simply being done and you might just get smacked in the face with something you didn’t expect because you aren’t committing your full attention.  For example, when you are driving and eating – are you enjoying your food? If you’re not enjoying your food, why eat at that particular time? Why take on the extra calories if they aren’t bringing you pleasure? 

Eating is the one area I wanted to change in my life with regards to this concept.  I, for the last month, have not allowed myself to eat while driving, but especially not while I was watching television.  And I have to say, two “light bulb moments” occurred to me – one - I’m eating slower which causes me to become full faster, thereby decreasing the amount of food I eat, and two – I find I’m not choosing to snack nearly as much because if I chose to snack before it was while I was rushing around doing something else or lounging and these aren’t viable options anymore, thus reducing my calorie intake.

Once a Week

So often, we make promises to ourselves and sign up for a tremendous undertaking of responsibilities which is then piled upon what we are already doing.  When we do this, even if the addition is an improvement or a positive change, it is added stress which makes it less likely for the change to continue to occur.  Instead of taking those new Pilates classes three times a week, why not start with just once a week?  The change you are seeking won’t happen rapidly with this type of a small tweak, but you are much more apt to continue to be enrolled in the class six months from now than you would be if you overwhelmed yourself in the beginning. And ultimately, don’t you want the changes you make to be lasting, not quick and fleeting?  So just think of the saying that goes “Easy does it.”  Be the tortoise. (My goal was to include yoga in my fitness routine, and I have been going to just one class a week, which for me works, otherwise I wouldn’t enjoy it nearly as much.  By taking it a little at a time, I truly do look forward to it each week.)

Clean it Up

Your language that is. Recently on Balance in Me by Anastasiya Goers, she made a point I found myself agreeing with wholeheartedly.  A simple positive change we can make in our lives is to clean up the language we use.  Not only is cussing impolite, but it causes others to be made uncomfortable, even if they aren’t the person it is directed at, and displays an uneducated mind who hasn’t the wherewithal to come up with something more creative to say.  So the next time you are frustrated (because I recognize that this is a reality in everyone’s life), make up your own word you use to express your anger that isn’t belligerent.

The Right Way

This one may sounds silly at first, but hear me out.  The UPS delivery company has a policy that 

drastically reduces their gasoline costs and time on the road, and all it is is “only making right turns”.  Think about it, the less time you spend idling your car in the middle lane to make a left turn, the less gas you’re using and less time wasted.  You add up how many minutes you’ve eliminated from your day, and you’ve decreased your gas budget.  Now this may take some more thought because you will be taking slightly different routes, but it has the potential to not only help your pocketbook, but help to decrease emissions a bit too because you won’t be on the road as much. 

Tidy Up

A simple tip I learned shortly after I graduated from high school while staying with some family friends was to upon leaving the house, or going to bed for the night, tidy up the room you were in or were using.  Another way to look at this is, when you arrive home from work, or being away, the peace of mind that you feel knowing your house is put together and ready to be lived in eliminates quite a bit of stress.  It is a similar thought when you wake up in the morning.  Who wants to walk into the kitchen for breakfast to find dirty dishes – not a great way to get started on the right foot.  So the next time you are walking out the door, look around, pick up the blanket, put the dishes in the dishwasher and in less than two minutes your house is tidy and ready to be enjoyed.

Click here to read part two in the series and here to read part three.  I’d love to know your thoughts, if you’ve tried any of these suggestions already, or what other ones came to mind that you would add to the list.  Have a wonderful day, and thanks for stopping by.

Images: (1)  Fashion Box (3) Sebastian (4) Source (5) Piper Pearl Page (6) Brabourne Farm 

Why Not . . . Discover Your Purpose? Part Trois

Discovering your purpose, your passion, in life truly can feel as though a burden has been lifted off of your shoulders regarding the pressure you may have been putting on yourself to succeed.  Once you know what you want to succeed at, you know the direction in which your energy must be spent, and that knowledge isn’t always easy to come by. 

So I’d like to begin the third and final part of the Discovering Your Purpose series with a pat on the back.  If you have taken the steps suggested in Parts One and Two, you have overcome a huge obstacle already – you’ve decided upon your direction and where your focus will be.  Bravo, my friend.  Each day you are doing something to chip away at the desired result and each day you are gradually getting closer. Celebrate the victories, no matter how small they may seem.

Today’s post is focusing on handling and navigating the external obstacles you may run up against.  Let’s get started.

Become Unstuck

Last week the discussion revolved around action, and making sure to do something every day, but the reality for some people is that once they know their purpose, they talk themselves out of going forward.  They get in their own way, talking themselves into settling for the reality that they know now and letting their dream remain a dream. One step at a time.  One step at a time.  With just one step, you become unstuck.  As long as you are not stagnant, you will never become stuck.  Even when you run up against frustrations, momentary setbacks, or any of the obstacles discussed below, you are not stuck because you had to do something to run up against them in the first place, no? Continue to remain unstuck by being perpetually in motion toward your dream.

 

Don’t Be Swayed

People will most certainly have their opinions about your dreams, and while they have a right to their opinions, you have the right to ignore them.  You do not need to mold your life around what they believe you should be doing because, after all, you are the only one who lives with your decisions day in and day out. A perfect example is Henry Ford, who was told by his father that his dream of creating what we now know to be the first car was “stupid” and he was crazy for being a “dreamer” and leaving such a high paying job.  Look who appears to crazy now.

 

About the Money

Lack of money will often be used as an excuse that appears to be legitimate at the time, however, if money is truly what is needed to continue to propel your dream forward, there are ways to find sponsors, support, or a loan.  Get creative.  Start having confidence in your dream and that you will be able to pay back what you are borrowing at the moment.  Or become even more creative and find a way that doesn’t require as much money.  Better yet, have patience and start saving regularly – that change you find in your pocket everyday, start dropping it into a jar. The point being, if you have the will, you will find a way.

Fear

External obstacles are those things that are not produced from within, and so I recognize that fear, at first glance, shouldn’t be a part of this list, but hear me out.  If you are deciding whether or not to relocate in order to follow your heart, your dream, your passion, you will most likely feel a bit (or a lot) of fear, but you may also have fear projected onto you because of what others don’t understand about your decision.  By placing their fear onto your shoulders, the fear you were initially feeling is intensified.  So hopefully you understand why fear can be external as well as internal. Now how to deal with it.

You might remember what was posted a few months ago about fear on the blog (Your Fear is Speaking), what you are most fearful of not happening is actually your dreams wanting, aching to become your reality. This fear, this feeling, I hate to say it, but it will remain unless you act on your dreams and ambitions and look them in the eye. Dr. Barbara Rose states, “Everyone is scared in the beginning! That is just a great sign that you are moving out of the old comfort zone of your ego – that loves to cling on to the past – and you are moving in the direction of your heart and soul – which will NEVER let you down!”  So, give in to your fear and chase your dream.  Chase down that life of living your passion every day, making it your reality.

It is my intention and hope that you found some grain of inspiration or motivation to continue, or begin, to move in the direction of the life of your dreams through these last three segments.  I know in deciding to create and daily work with The Simply Luxurious Life blog that I am pursuing my dream of writing, and I can’t imagine a day of resting my hand. However, it took me time to discover and have confidence in this fact. I would love to hear your successes, your questions, your thoughts on this topic because it remains dear to my heart.

I am in the process of narrowing down ideas for my next Why Not series, so if you have any suggestions or ideas, let me know.  I’d love to hear.  Have a beautiful Wednesday, and my thoughts and cheers are right behind you in your pursuit of your simply luxurious life.

Read the previous segments of the three part series:

Part One – What is Your Purpose?

Part Two – Getting Started

Images: (1)  Fashion Served (2)  Fashion Served (3) Fashion Served (4) Shes a Carnival (5) Fashion Served

Why Not . . . Discover Your Purpose?

When a person realizes their purpose, they are in essence discovering their passion, what they could spend endless hours involved in and lose all track of time.  So why not spend your life pursuing your passion?


Easier said than done, I realize that.  It’s much simpler to take the route you’ve seen completed by your parents or an older sibling, but if it doesn’t electrify you, why continue down such a route? Now, don’t go and quit your day job, especially in this economy, but consider for a moment the possibilities of taking a chance in those hours you are not at your day job to begin puttering away on those things that seem to take you out of your stressful world.  Dare to dream. (For even more tips on how to use those hours effectively read The Other 8 Hours– it will be highlighted in the newsletter this Friday – do sign up – click here.)

For some of you, you may already be living your ideal life, and for those people I applaud you – what a wonderful accomplishment.  I would love to hear from those of you who have successfully found your purpose and are now spending your waking hours immersed in it – what helped you to arrive at this point?  Please do tell!

For anyone who is still searching for their purpose, or has figured out their passion, but doesn’t quite know how to make it materialize, this series is for you.  Over the next three Wednesdays, The Simply Luxurious Life will be taking you through detailed steps on how to create just that – a simply luxurious life for yourself. 

Today’s focus is on discovering your passions, narrowing down what fuels your fire and adds energy to each step you take.  Here we go.

Be Willing to Grow

Just because you increase in age doesn’t necessarily mean you are growing.  Each person who takes on their dreams and challenges them to become their reality is choosing to grow.  They are intentionally choosing to expand their minds, abilities, talents and opportunities.  None of this can happen automatically simply because a person grows older.  So make a conscious decision today to grow.  Whether it be by picking up The Atlantic monthly magazine or purchasing a particular book to learn more about what you will have to take on, that is growth.  Begin now.  Decide now to grow.

Ask Yourself

If you aren’t quite sure what you desire, what you are passionate about, but you know you’re not passionate about what you’re currently doing, ask yourself these eight questions and actually write them down (this may take 15-30 minutes, but it is a good exercise if you are serious about narrowing down what it is that you are passionate about).

1. What do I do where I lose track of time?
2. What am I most often complimented on?
3. What do others look to me for?
4. What do I have the most fun doing?
5. What makes me feel great about myself?
6. What am I naturally good at?
7. What do I most often give to others?
8. What ideas, things, places and people am I most inspired by?

As you look back on what you have written, you should start to see a theme. For example: losing track of time shopping, receiving multiple compliments on my wardrobe choices, friends look to me for advice regarding their clothing, love flipping through fashion magazines, wearing fabulous clothes builds my confidence, having an eye for colors, textures and patterns that work well together, giving clothing as gifts – you get the idea hopefully.  A person who answers the questions this blatantly should be building a career as a stylist or consultant even if it just begins in their evening hours.  What do you have to lose by trying?  Realizing your dream, spending your entire life shopping?  There is not one dream that is too silly to pursue if you have a passion for it, a true passion.  Always keep that in mind.

Begin Today

The only way to achieve the life of pursuing your passions is to begin today.  Small steps taken every day will eventually get you to the end of the marathon. A funny thing will happen while you’re taking these baby steps repeatedly, you’ll realize (if this is indeed your passion) you don’t mind the extra hours you’re spending typing away on your computer in the middle of night.  You won’t even be looking at the clock until someone has to nudge you and say, put the computer down and go to bed.  The little steps will become a habit, and you’ll begin to see glimmers of progress every once in a while and no matter how little, this will motivate you to take the next steps tomorrow.  Have faith, take action and watch what happens.

The Benefits

You still may not be convinced that spending those precious eight other hours you have before and after work working on another potential career is the best idea.  In fact, you may have resolved to be content with how your life has turned out and feel it is much more “adult” to be responsible and keep the job that you can depend on even if it doesn’t electrify in any way what-so-ever.  But before you dismiss my suggestion entirely, consider the benefits.  Here are just a few people have attained by pursuing their true innate passion – that voice they couldn’t squelch: a strengthening of one’s self-confidence, reduction of fear, anxiety and worry, actually improving at your existing career due to a sense of fulfillment, improved relationships because you are aware of who you really are and you can present your true self with confidence, gaining more focus for life and, the ultimate benefit, gaining genuine long-term happiness and personal/professional fulfillment. Just a few things to keep in mind when questioning whether it would be worth it or not.

So, if you haven’t nailed down what you are passionate about, sit down and answer the eight questions above. Then, just take one small step before going to bed tonight.  And then one more tomorrow, and repeat.

Click here to read the second part in the series as it focuses on turning what is right now only a dream into your very own reality.  I hope you’ll return and would love to hear your thoughts on today’s first part of Discovering Your Purpose.  Have a wonderful Wednesday and take that first step now – today (or another step if you’re already on the right path) – don’t wait. 

Images: (1) The Little Kitten (2) Cartoon Styles: W magazines – Jessica Stam (3) We Heart It (4) Flickr (5) Ffffound (6) Tumblr (7) We Heart It