Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? Part Trois

Today, the Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? series moves into Part Three (if you’d like to check out Part One or Two, click on the respective links) and with it, some final finishing points regarding behavior, beauty, dating and success. Have a look and don’t be shy about leaving a comment.  I have thoroughly been enjoying and appreciative of all of the comments thus far, and look forward to hearing your opinion and thoughts on today’s ideas of what it means to be a modern lady. Let’s get started.

Be Well-Groomed

Nothing reveals self-respect more than how you present yourself, so consider your grooming regimen – haircuts, highlights, color, manicures, pedicures, skincare and such, should be mandatory items on your to-do list.  Not only will you feel better, but knowing you look your best will demonstrate to others your high standards without saying a word.

Eliminate Gossip

There are few things that are more contradictory than seeing a beautiful, respectable woman who speaks poorly of others. Remember the old adage, “Small minds talk about people, average minds talk about events, and great minds talk about ideas.”  Raise your standards and set an example, you might be surprised as to how those around you will respond.

Don’t Be A Tease

When it comes to dating, a modern lady is confident with who she is and doesn’t need to be someone she is not to impress the opposite sex; therefore, eliminate the games.  A modern lady doesn’t lead any man on to believe she is interested if she isn’t. While this will require extreme tact and courtesy so that feelings aren’t hurt, it is better to be honest, yet respectful, up front so no one becomes embarrassed and hurt. 

Becoming Behavior

There are many things that have changed when it comes to being a lady with the culture and world that we live in today, but some things tend to remain the same, or at least similar.  A modern lady watches her alcohol and doesn’t drink too much, nor does she exhibit uncouth behavior.  It all comes back to Part One - keep an air of mystery. Sometimes it really is better to observe and take things in. Besides, just because you think something, doesn’t mean you have to share it with the world.  Often, upon reflection, our initial reactions are merely that – reactions – something that occurs without thought, so be sure to always check yourself and make certain you would be comfortable with a particular decision in hindsight.

Stop Apologizing

A person who feels they are in an inferior position is often the one who feels they have to apologize.  Now I’m not saying that apologizing when you’ve done something you know you shouldn’t have done isn’t proper – absolutely not. What I’m merely getting at is apologizing for doing something with good intentions.  Yes, you will make a mistake, you might and most likely will, step on someone’s toes if you’re continually trying to grow and improve, but why should you apologize for someone else’s insecurity? As one reader commented, a modern lady doesn’t apologize for her success, and I couldn’t agree more. Refuse to allow yourself to be belittled because the only reason “bullies” try to make you feel as though they are superior is because they want the control that they think you have.  Keep striving, keep being you because you are amazing.

Be Someone You’d Admire

Who do you look up to in this world? Who do you admire, respect and wish you could be like? So many of us can quickly rattle off at least one or two people who lead lives we dream of, lives that we feel would be very fulfilling, gratifying and enjoying, so the modern lady difference is why not be someone you’d look up to and admire?  A modern lady decides to put her life in her own hands and mold it into the fine masterpiece that will be her life’s art. Have you started yet? Do you have a vision of what your life will look like? No matter where you are in this process, you too can be an amazing modern lady, and most likely, already are, but it all begins with becoming someone you’d admire.

The Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? series is concluding today, but not without great support, lively feedback full of agreement and disagreement.  I genuinely appreciate all of the feedback as it helps to consider all viewpoints and perspectives.  Feel free today to go back over the three part series and add to the list, agree, disagree, modify – whatever you feel like. There are many more items I’ve been thinking about adding, but might just have to save them for some time in the future.

I hope you’ve enjoyed it because I sincerely have.  This idea that a woman can lead an extraordinary unique life in the world we live in today is something I believe in wholeheartedly.  And I couldn’t agree more with Oscar de la Renta.  Never before as there been a time when a woman had such control over her destiny. And believe me I’m grabbing the reins, are you?

Images: (0) This is Glamorous (1) La Bella Vita (2)  Wet Behind the Ears (3) We Heart It (4) Garance Dore (5) Apartment 34 (6) Source

Why Not . . . Be A Modern Lady? Part Deux

The classification of modern brings with it an entirely new element, and in a way, the responsibility of being a lady. Just as anyone turns 18, more rights are given to them, but in the same breath, so are more responsibilities, more expectations to be met.

I find this idea of being a modern lady a privilege of sorts.  Think on it for a moment, of all of the women who have come before us who have struggled, fought, persevered so that we could be viewed as living a life by standing on our own two feet and not by leaning against someone else for the rest of our lives.  This truly is something to be celebrated and not lackadaisically tossed aside.

Last week, this series began with the first five tips on how to be a modern lady, and as we continue today, my hope is that you’ll find simple ideas that you can practice every day, as well as long term ideas that involve setting goals and staying the course until completion.  Have a look. 

Think Quickly, Speak Slowly

  
Practicing the art of thinking quickly in any given situation rather than opening one’s mouth as the thoughts are still beginning to mull about in the mind is way to insure, as best you can, against saying something you might regret. In doing this, you also have time to ask yourself, is a verbal reaction from me necessary?

In other words, pick your battles.  Choose to place your energy in situations that benefit you and build a more positive scenario for others around you. I’m reminded of the scene in You’ve Got Mail, where Meg Ryan’s character is in the coffee shop waiting for her anonymous chat room friend to arrive.  Her tongue becomes a whip and rapidly spouts out accurate, yet hurtful comebacks to Tom Hank’s character that, while well stated, were something she later regretted.

Always Leave A Tip

View tipping a way of saying thank you, but also consider it a way of being respectful for those that have the job of waiting on you. Whether it is your hair stylist, dog sitter, bell boy, maid service or waiter, always leave the proper percentage as a tip.  Now, some may feel that a tip is a reward to be earned, and while there is some validity to this idea, I have to politely disagree. Tipping is not a reflection of the service provided, but a reflection of the manners and person you are. After all, who knows when the time will arise that you are in desperate need of a root touch up and are hoping against hope that your stylist will take you in even on her day off. I can attest that in these types of situations, if I have been a decent tipper in the past, the more likely they will be willing to accommodate their client if they can. 

Educate Yourself

On a grand scale – earning a degree, to a smaller scale – staying apprised of the current events in the world, politics, community and so on, choosing to educate yourself, as well as continuing to educate yourself no matter what your age is the gateway to freedom, to choice, and ultimately to living the life of your dreams. Look at it this way.  You’re at a party or a charity event and your ability to hold a conversation with anyone in the room due to your knowledge of the network of people who are in attendance will not only give you confidence, but will also perpetuate more networking opportunities. After all, one of the first pieces of advice received(or quickly realized) upon immediately getting out of college and being thrust into the real world is  It’s not what you know, but who you know.  The catch here is you do need to know quite a bit so that you can get to know the right people. And on a different note, being aware of the world around you puts the reins in your hands, and isn’t that reason enough?

Nurture Kindness

What we foster, what we tend to, grows like a weed. It is easy to get entranced with the negative sensationalism that is found throughout so many television programs, but what about kindness? If we aren’t willing to nurture it, it can’t grow to become what we would like to see. So the next time you see a good deed being done, extend a thank you. Take the time to praise the behavior you wish to see more of and you might just be surprised by the results. And on the flip side, set the example of the kindness you wish to see in the world.  Lead by example.

Be Independent

This particular point is one of the biggest factors on what it means to be a modern woman (at least to me, and if you disagree, I would love to hear what you feel is the most definitive).  The responsibility women have placed on their shoulders has been a mighty one, but one that I wouldn’t want to give up, due in part to the alternative, but also because I know we are all capable of living up to the expectation. A truly modern woman is someone who lives by her own means, a woman who while enjoying the company she finds in relationships (significant other, family and friends) isn’t reliant on them for survival financially. A modern woman is educated, disciplined and at the same time passionate which ultimately makes her an asset in the field or career she pursues. And while wanting to spend her time and life with someone special, doesn’t need them to make her life whole.  She already is all on her own.

I do hope this week’s tips and ideas of what it means to be a modern lady were something that caught your attention.  Even if you might have disagreed on some points, I do hope you’ll share your thoughts.  And if, while reading it, other ideas of what you feel it means to be a modern lady came to mind, feel free to share.  I truly enjoy hearing you.

Click here to read Part Three of the series. And if you missed Part One, just click here.  Have a wonderful Wednesday.

Images: (1) Source (2)Tumblr (3)  New York Palace (4) Source (5) From Me to You (6) Oh Fashion Model