Choose Yourself

 “It wasn’t about . . . choosing

a man or choosing a bag or

choosing a life. 

It was about,

choose yourself.”

-Michael Patrick King

Whether or not you are a fan of Sex and the City, an interesting article was written by Meredith Bryan in May’s Elle magazine about the creator and writer Michael Patrick King.



While a few of the reasons many women of all ages will be picking up their tickets to see the midnight release this Thursday will be the fashion, relationships and friendship, King simply states that these were all just “the fireworks display to get our attention.”  Ultimately, his message and the message that truly resonates with me is that these women (Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha) during a time in our culture of ambivalence and lack of boundaries and wondering which way do I go – are choosing themselves.  Whether we agree with their decisions or not, they are true to who they are, and this should be the message we, as women, as people, should be grabbing onto.

Yes, it is fictitious.  Yes, if it were grunge clothing, squalid living conditions and mundane humdrum routine lives we most likely wouldn’t watch, and I understand the producers want to make their money back and more.  But the message, I feel, is a valid one.  If we won’t choose ourselves and our dreams, who will? 



First of all, no one knows our dreams better than we do.  It may take some time to solidify exactly what we want as we are learning from failed attempts and misdirection, but we don’t all get it right the first time.  In fact, I would argue that we don’t ever get it correct on our first attempt because we can always learn something and improve upon it.  Whether it be in our romantic lives, our career pursuits, our fashion choices – I for one do not want to go back to wearing what I thought was “so cool” in the eighties – perms and shoulder cut-outs, anyone?

The question may arise that if we are always choosing ourselves, aren’t we being selfish?  While I can see how the opposition can quickly use this as an argument, I wholeheartedly disagree.  If someone chooses themselves, it doesn’t mean they are acting against their good conscious, they are simply choosing the direction that will capitalize on their talents.  Talents that hopefully will benefit those around them in some degree whether it is a happy partner coming home from work each day, or a teacher in the classroom who contributes much, with little monetary reward, but priceless sleep-filled nights knowing they are trying to improve the future.



Not choosing ourselves actually promotes more selfish desires because by constantly bowing down to other’s life plans and not our own, we tend to fill the void with instant fixes – excess material items, excess food, and other unhealthy behaviors. Or the worst outlet, projecting our unfulfilled dreams onto others – pushing them in the direction we didn’t have the courage to travel but so deeply desired.   Why?  Because we didn’t value ourselves.



Take a moment today and ask yourself, are you choosing yourself?  If you already are, pat yourself on the back and continue to support others to do the same.  And if you’re still in a quandary, look to those that will support you no matter what path you take.

Images: (1) Source (2) Style Nirvana (3) Film Gecko (4) Fashion Tribes (5) Metro UK