Shine Beautifully Despite The Darkness

  

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

-Elizabeth Kubler Ross 

Nobody wishes and hopes to run up against obstacles and challenges in their life. Partly because we don’t know when they will pop up, and partly because, by definition, the solution for overcoming them isn’t easy to figure out or easy to implement.

As mentioned before, the beauty in these challenges is that it truly is an opportunity, but before that opportunity is revealed, the test is presented, the challenge, to see your true character, your true stamina, your willingness to buckle down and conquer the obstacle temporarily in your path – or permanently, depending on your what resides within you.

Similar to the analogy mentioned in the quote above, a person’s true character can be revealed when their luggage doesn’t arrive at their destination or when a major drain in the house becomes clogged or when the Christmas tree lights become tangled. Either you have a defeatist attitude or a get-it-done attitude, and you and I both know which one will be more successful and more pleasant to be around.

No matter how you have handled situations in the past – good or bad, how you handle the next obstacle is a choice you, and you alone, have the opportunity to make in the moment.  Depending on how we observed others handle tough situations as a child, we often model their behavior as young adults especially if the behavior was successful.  However, if the behavior was not successful, yet if we haven’t seen other options, we may not know how to handle difficult predicaments. 

The true beauty you reveal during times of struggle is a choice.  We all have the potential, the ingredients, to exude beautiful light.  It starts with the belief that there is a solution for every problem, it just might not be a solution you would have expected.  Once you accept that every problem can be solved, your creative wheels begin to turn, you begin to seek out help from those you trust, or books by authors who are reputable, and you refuse to give in.

Some dark moments are darker than others, and it might be that a bad choice has placed in you the situation you are in.  In such an instance, use this as an lesson to never repeat the same mistake. The solution in this case may be to take your punishment and not be bailed out so as to not lose the lesson and forge a different path.

Whatever it is that turns the sunlight out for a moment in your life, beam brightly, dig in and solve it. The initial first step sometimes is the most difficult part, but once you get your hands dirty and start seeing gradual results you begin to realize that you can get back to the sunshine.

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Owning Your ‘Uniqueness’

“People who have a ‘problem’ (like Julia Child being 6’2”) it either kills them or they become defiant in the face of it. And that’s what her (Julia’s) personality led her to.  She just said, ‘The hell with it!’ It’s a lesson. Sometimes we want to arrange things – I wish I had this, I wish I looked like this, I wish I’d got into this school. You know, we think that there is a formula, and actually the formula for happiness and success is just actually . . . be yourself in the most vivid possible way you can because then you don’t have to pretend.  That is the freedom [Julia Child] enjoyed in her life and that is inspirational to me.”

-Meryl Streep on playing Julia Child in Julie & Julia

There are books, there are gurus, there are ‘experts’ on what the formula is to attain personal success and happiness. You may have sought out any one of these mediums, I know I most certainly have, but I must say I believe Meryl Streep is on to something.

While so many of us are fortunate enough to live in a world where possibilities seem endless and the potential to shape and mold our lives into what we desire is possible with more than just a little hard work, we sometimes become overwhelmed with all of the media and propaganda that is thrown at us telling us what we should be doing instead of looking inward to ourselves. So often, to avoid all of the confusion on how we should go about achieving success for ourselves, we choose to follow someone else’s path to success because, after all, if it worked for them, why wouldn’t work for us? And, while sometimes this may work, more often than not, we all will be required to go about it in a new and original way if we want to shine and that is where many people flounder.

The other difficult part in choosing to let your own light shine, whether it is your innate ability to pull an outfit together that instantly looks stunning, having observation skills like a detective or the ability to charm the socks off of just about anyone, you often will be met by resistance from those around you who have decided to follow a predetermined path made not by them, but by the society, culture or someone else in their life. And the truth of the matter is, subconsciously, they wish they had the strength and the courage to follow the light inside of them that has been dimmed for so long. For those people who are also eagerly chasing their unique path based on their natural given uniqueness, they will applaud, they will encourage, and they will not present obstacles.  I mention this as a way to understand why others may respond the way they do when you choose to ‘let your freak flag fly’ and to help you not see their poor behavior as a reflection of you, because it isn’t.

So, today, think about the skills, quirks of your character, and unique qualities that have always been with you from childhood.  Maybe people laughed, maybe people were in disbelief, hopefully many were impressed, but no matter how those around you responded, use it to your advantage.  Be yourself. Be confident in knowing that this ‘gift’ truly is just that – a gift - and make the most of it.

Have a beautiful Monday everyone.

Need a few more thoughts on owning your uniqueness? Check out Uniquely Perfect.

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