Why Not . . . Be A Good House Guest? Part Deux

Welcoming invited guests into your home can be a wonderful experience if the guests keep in mind the efforts of their host(s) and are appreciative of such a gracious offer.  Last week, I shared a list of things to keep in mind prior to and upon arrival, so this week I’d like to share tips on how to be a delightful house guest.

Let’s get started.

1. Be Presentable

Be sure to pack a set of presentable pajamas (top and bottom) that will be sure to make everyone comfortable even in the early hours of the morning while you are sipping coffee, as well as taking a moment to brush through your hair and any other tidying up that you may want to tend to before saying good morning.

2. Be Neat & Orderly

Whether you’ve been given your own room, but especially if you are sleeping on someone’s couch, each morning be sure to tidy up your living space, tucking, folding and putting away anything that otherwise wouldn’t have been there.  Your host will appreciate your attention to something so simple as it is a way to show respect and gratitude.

3. Make Your Bed

Similar to No. 2, make your bed every morning as you would at your own home. A simple luxury to come back to at the end of each day is a welcoming boudoir.



4. If Contagious, Stay Home.

5. Offer to Purchase Groceries or Pay for Partial Utilities for Extended Visits

If your host will be making meals for you or you will be eating breakfast, lunch and/or dinner in their home, offer to pay for or shop for groceries. And if you are staying for an extended period, be sure to offer money as a form of rent for utilities and space used.

6. Limit Internet/phone Usage

If you don’t have your own access to internet and will be using your host’s computer, be very brief and keep in mind that others will want to go about their daily routines and spend time on the internet as well.  And while everyone has a cell phone these days, be aware of when and how often you are on the phone. Remember that you are a guest and not the only one in the home.

7. Do Your Own Laundry/Dishes

I suggested last week that one of the simplest ways to thank your host is to offer to do the dishes after a meal. Another thing to always get into the habit of is washing and putting your dishes in the dishwasher as well. Never assume that someone else will be doing this job.

8. Strip the Bed and Any Towels Used

Prior to leaving when you are packing up and saying good-byes, take a few minutes and strip the bed placing all of the sheets into one of the pillowcases. This is a simple task that will save your host some time and be neat as well. Be sure to add any towels and washcloths also that you have used.

9. Send a Prompt Thank You Note

Be sure to put it at the top of your to do list (or better yet, while on your trip purchase a lovely thank you card in an inviting stationery store) to send a thank you note to your host upon arriving back home. While many thank yous have most likely been exchanged, a formal letter expresses sincere gratitude and thoughtfulness and puts a wonderful last memory to the entire stay.

Being a good house guest simply requires conscious effort of putting ourselves into the shoes of our host and treating them the way we would hope others would treat us if they were staying at our home. The goal is to create a memorable experience for everyone and while the host will keep themselves busy making sure this happens, so too should the guest.

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Why Not . . . Be A Good House Guest?

The graciousness of anyone to welcome guests into their home is one of the greatest gifts. Whether it is family who has traveled a great distance, helping out a friend as they make their way along a journey or entertaining grown children when they come back for a quick visit to see their parents, it is important that the gesture made by the homeowner is not one to be taken for granted.

In this new two part series, I’d like to share tips for anyone who is, was or ever will be a house guest.

While every host expects something different, generally there is proper etiquette to follow and that when adhered to will almost certainly guarantee a good repertoire with your host and possibly gain an invitation to stay again.

First, the initial arrival. A few things to keep in mind:

1. Plan Ahead

Well before you plan to go out of town, ask politely if the dates you have in mind are possible for staying at your host’s home. Once you are welcome to be their guest, be sure to write down the exact times of arrival that were discussed in order to prevent any mix-ups.

2. Arrive On Time

On the day of your arrival, make sure you arrive on time out of respect for your host’s schedule. And while it may seem okay to arrive early, keep in mind that most hosts want time to pick up their home and present a clean abode, so if your flight unexpectedly arrives early, do be sure to call ahead before showing up at their door.

3. Respect Your Host’s Schedule, And Share Yours 

Always keep in mind that your host will have a schedule of their own to follow, so let them know generally when you will be coming and going.

4. Bring A Thank You Gift

Upon arriving, be sure to have a gift in hand. Bring something you are certain your host would appreciate and enjoy – wine, a beautiful Jo Malone orange blossom candle or something special that will be certain to convey your gratitude.

5. Don’t Overstay Your Welcome

As my aunt reminded me when I was younger regarding house guests, “House guests are like fish, they begin to stink after three days,” and, yes, there is certainly some validity to the famous adage no matter how much you adore your guests. As wonderful as it is to be welcomed into someone’s home, always keep in mind that this is their sanctuary, this is their place to unwind, and nobody wants to be uncomfortable in their home. Even though the visit may be going well, be sure to leave on a high note, and don’t overstay your welcome.

6. Offer to Help

As a guest, offer to help with dinner if your host is making meals that you will be enjoying, or offer to walk their dog if that is something you feel comfortable with. A wonderful gesture that I know almost any cook would appreciate is the offer to clean up the kitchen after the meal. Sounds simple, but it undoubtedly will be hard to turn down.

7. Respect Their House Rules

The first example that most young adults tend to question is following their parents house rules even if they feel they are adults because they no longer permanently live in the home. As a guest, your goal is to make sure that your host is comfortable while you are in their home, and if their house rules are that young couples should sleep in separate beds, then respectfully oblige. Everyone has different values, but if you are stepping over the threshold into their home, you must defer to their expectations. And if you are uncomfortable with them, there are always plenty of hotel rooms.


8. Remember That Your Host Isn’t Responsible For Entertaining You

Sometimes when visiting there will be plans made to spend time with the host and/or hostess, in fact, maybe that is precisely why you are staying there, but if they are opening their home to you without this expectation, understand that is up to the guest to entertain themselves. Unless the host offers, have plans ready to dive into (and even if they do offer, I have found that it is always good to have some time apart from the host, as often they are offering out of kindness, but need a break as well).

Being a guest, a guest that will always be welcomed back, is to be conscious and respectful, because the goal is to help create a memorable experience for all persons involved and strengthen the relationship, not wear it thin.

Be sure to stop by next week when we’ll wrap up the series and share ways to ensure a pleasurable stay and departure.

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