When Silence Is Beneficial

“I have naturally formed the habit of restraining my thoughts.  A thoughtless word hardly ever escaped my tongue or pen.  Experience has taught me that silence is part of the spiritual discipline of a votary of truth.  We find so many people impatient to talk.  All this talking can hardly be said to be of any benefit to the world. It is so much waste of time.  My shyness has been in reality my shield and buckler.  It has allowed me to grow.  It has helped me in my discernment of truth.” 

-Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

The world can be loud and over stimulating at times. With televisions blaring, iPods singing in our ears, phones alerting us incessantly and other constant bombardments into our personal space, it is common place to assume silence may not be necessary.  In fact, silence may appear to some as a sign of something negative.

However, there is great power when each of us is able to become comfortable with silence from time to time. Whether it is finding a few moments to yourself in the middle of the day, or unwinding in a quiet bedroom with a book at night, silence can be quite restorative.

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Growing Pains – A Very Good Sign

“Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.”

-Herbert Otto

Like a butterfly trying to break free of the cocoon, a young child maturing and struggling through puberty, or the pain of orthodontia as one’s teeth slowly move into straight alignment, pain and struggle are involved.

Growing pains  by definition are not pleasurable.  They purposely are painful for many reasons.

First, without the recognition and realization that a change is occurring, we would not appreciate it and see the opportunity that is being presented.  With the new abilities – a butterfly to now soar, a young adult to now reason and be self-sufficient, a beautiful smile to aid our health and share with the world – the opportunities are plentiful, but if we didn’t realize them, we very likely might ignore the potential that they afford.

“Convert difficulties into opportunities, for difficulties are divine surgeries to make you better.”  ~Author Unknown

Secondly, growing pains are a test.  A test to make certain that what one is struggling for is indeed what they want. For example, a completed literary novel is not capable of being created with the snapping of the fingers.  A writer must demonstrate regular discipline, passion and dedication in the task of completing the manuscript in order to have the opportunity of appreciating and drinking in the results.  The wannabes are weeded out during the period of growing pains as they eliminate themselves from the process, but those who forge ahead, who struggle through the growing pains of questions and doubts are answering the test in a sufficient manner that will garner the possibility for great success.

“Adversity is like a strong wind.  It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.”  ~Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

Lastly, growing pains allow for rich and eternal appreciation of the hard work that was necessary to savor the success that is possible of being achieved after persevering through the adversity, pushing past the critics, and staying on track even though it would have been much easier to let the last problem dealt with halt the engine.

“Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out.”  ~Edwin Markham

There can be many moments of growing pains along the path toward each of our desired goals, and in everyone’s life in general, throughout the many stages, growing pains are the norm.  It is the adversity that causes us to reflect, reevaluate and decide what the legacy is we want to leave behind.

We must consider ourselves lucky for receiving adversity because it means we each have an opportunity to better our lives, to not remain stagnate, for when we are stagnate we are no longer truly living.

Adversity is the stepping stone to a more truthful place of where we are meant to go, of where are abilities can take us if we choose to tap into them.

Today, if you find yourself embattled and ambivalent on how to proceed in a situation that is giving you a difficult time, look inward and ask yourself what is this struggle trying to reveal to me? What can I take away from it and use to improve my life? If you choose to see it as a lesson, you will prevail. Don’t let the alternative keep you from your true potential.

“Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.  If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds.”  ~Norman Vincent Peale

And click here to see who the winner of the Seductively French giveaway was!

Images: (1) Southern Sophisticate (2) Sebastian (3) Vogue and Coffee

Why Not . . . Watch Less Television?

As a child growing up our family had five television channels with the help of an antenna, and if by chance the weather was disagreeable, we didn’t have any. One of my childhood friends placed their only television in their den which was rather small but also had a comfortable leather sofa and created an environment I am currently trying to emulate in my own office, cozy, but with a purpose.  Another friend of mine and her husband have eliminated television all together. While I do enjoy watching a bit of television now and then (episodes of Barefoot Contessa, CBS Sunday Morning, Frasier & and well-written comedies and dramas), I’ve come to the decision that while I don’t want to eliminate television in my life altogether, I do want to reduce the number of televisions in my house.

Well, without further ado, this Saturday, it will be done, and I have to admit, I’m actually looking forward to it.  Call me crazy, but when the customer service employee asked why I wanted to make this change, I said, “To create a better life!” No response from her end (I’m sure she thought I had tipped over my rocker), but I want to push myself, to challenge myself, to cultivate stronger relationships and create an atmosphere that is dictated by what I want the focus of my life to be, not some television programmer trying to gain more ad revenue.

I have already stopped using the television in the living room just to get a feel for the change it will bring to my daily routines, and here are a few things I know will immediately improve: 

More Free Time

While there are many times the television is on simply in the background while I am doing something, it always amazes me how quickly time passes when I sit down in front of it. Well, no more. At first it may be difficult to figure out what to do with your free time, but once you become adjusted and comfortable, you’ll soon realize you’ll have time to complete that to-do list without distraction, give yourself a pedicure, spend more time writing, putz around in the garden, start a puzzle, send a thank you note or go out for a walk. And who doesn’t want more free time?  I know that is an instant benefit of limiting or eliminating television.

Less Snacking

Those unnecessary pounds that you’ve been wanting to shed, that mindless eating that takes place as you become entranced by whatever it is that is on the boobtube at the moment, consider it gone.  When I begin to come to terms with the extra calories I might consume in a day, I realized that they are all consumed when I’m watching television – not while I’m walking, not while I’m reading or chatting on the telephone. So by disabling this enabler, a more satisfied self-image develops.

Build Quality Relationships

When I began to first consider the idea of reducing the number of televisions in my home, I began to reflect on those times when I had friends and family over, and I began to realize that few, if any, occasion was with the intention of watching television together.  Whether it was a dinner party, cocktail gathering or a holiday occasion, we were coming together to be and enjoy one another’s company. The television was ignored, so why then was I so worried about removing it from my living room? Instead of turning the television on to enjoy a show with your significant other or roommate, why not pull out a board game like Scrabble, or learn how to play chess?  Or try my favorite board game – backgammon.  What ever you choose to do, either engage each other’s minds or become more comfortable with silence which truly is a good sign of a healthy relationship. (A great website of ideas and statistics regarding television use can be found at this wonderful website: Heart & Mind: Creating Simple Harmony In Life)

More Time To Read

One of the most attractive benefits of eliminating or reducing your television use is the ability to read without distraction or temptation. If you are like me, you have a list of books you are dying to get through – possibly a few classics that you never read but have always meant to, or biographies of people who captivate your attention.  Also, when a book, magazine or newspaper is picked up to enjoy, you are able to fully commit yourself to the article you have chosen to read without looking up every couple of minutes.  Knowledge is gained, your mind is challenged, and you are most certainly better off than if you would have clicked on a mindless reality show with 10-20 minutes of advertisements tempting your pocketbook.

Become More Accomplished

One of my favorite science fiction books (and I must confess, science fiction isn’t what I typically gravitate towards) and classic books in general is Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451. Within it’s plot line he reveals a world without books and its effects on society. In 2001 he was quoted as saying about this particular book,  “I wasn’t worried about freedom. I was worried about people being turned into morons by TV.”

His statement certainly gave me pause when I first came across it.  There is without question, a true fear conveyed especially with the television becoming so prevalent in modern culture. With that in mind, use the time you aren’t spending in front of the television to fine tune your skills or learn new ones. Life must not be wasted. As we all know, it is a precious gem that has the potential to shine with all its luster if we put in the elbow grease. But in order to put in the effort and focus, we need to turn the television off a bit more.

So, are you with me?

Image: (1) Heart & Mind via The New Yorker (2) Fashion Gone Rogue (3) Source (4)  Oh Fashion Model (5) Fashion In My Eyes (6) Source