The Simply Luxurious Life®: Why Not . . . Eliminate the Drama?  

May 30, 2012

Why Not . . . Eliminate the Drama?

The drama queen. There always seems to be at least one in every class of high school, and she always seems to be able to garner attention whenever someone else’s was shining a bit too brightly, or when the spotlight on her was beginning to dim.

Whether from a distance or someone you knew more directly, you probably can recall this type of person and the type of behaviors that they regularly exhibit. Behaviors perhaps were arguments, or filthy, hurtful rumors or pretending to know something that everyone else would want to know – in other words, they loved having the power – the attention – of those around them.

But such behavior is draining of valuable finite energy for the people who choose to spend time with this person, and it certainly is exhausting for the drama queen herself. After all, if she’s spending time concocting falsehoods and intriguing, yet pointless bits of information, when is she able to find time for things that really matter?

I think it is safe to say, drama in our lives is not an attribute of a well-lived life. Even though the drama queens may have raised their ugly heads in our youth, such people still exist in adulthood unfortunately, and it is up to each one of us to refuse to get sucked into their web.

How to Eliminate Drama

1. Change what you talk about

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

2. Keep some things to yourself

While it’s good to have mystery and maintain your privacy, it’s also important to not share everything with people you don’t know all that well. Instead, when with others, follow #3.

3. Be observant

We gain knowledge by observing, not by talking (unless we are asking questions of course). So choose to observe others’ behaviors and tendencies because as we all know, actions speak much louder than words ever will.

4. Create healthy boundaries

Personal information should remain personal. In other words, if you don’t trust that someone will be able to keep information private, don’t share it with them.

5. Take time to assess

Before jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst, take a step back so that you can gather your emotions and let them calm down. Then with a clear head, evaluate the situation by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.  By doing this, you will be better able to make a sound decision that you won’t regret in the future.

6. Learn how to let off steam in a healthy manner

We all get upset. After all, we are human, but take the time to monitor how you feel and what makes you feel that way when you become angry, jealous, defensive, etc. Then look for ways to healthily let go because bottling it up won’t help either. Maybe it is journaling, talking to a trusted friend, running or weeding your garden. Whatever activity helps you release the negative emotions, partake in it before you do something you might regret.

7. Be proactive

Often part of the reason emotions run high and in a negative direction is because we are emotionally exhausted due to either over-scheduling or constantly placing ourselves in situations that are not healthy. Whether it is taking on too many responsibilities or spending time with people who constantly make you feel bad about yourself, choose in advance how much time you really have to offer and who you spend your time with as a way to reduce negative emotions and exhaustion.

8. Learn to say no

When you know what you can do, and what will enhance your life, it becomes much easier to say no to things that will not be beneficial. While no one wants to hear “no”, using this power is a way of respecting yourself.

9. Assume the best

Eliminate the cynic that wants to raise its ugly head and assume the best until you have all of the facts. Yes, you will get your heartbroken or be disappointed at times, but, as my dad reminded me, wouldn’t you rather want to make the mistake of expecting something wonderful instead of the alternative?

10. Spend time with positive people

The simplest way to reduce drama is to spend time with people who shun it as well. In other words, seek out positive, supportive people. I’ve mentioned it many times on the blog, but we are a product of our environments, and the more we accept this, the more we accept responsibility for choosing better scenarios to place ourselves in. A great book to read on this subject is Situations Matter by Sam Sommers.

The beauty of eliminating drama comes in the form of living a more fulfilling, pleasure-filled life. Below are a few minutes that immediately came to my mind:

Benefits of Eliminating Drama

1. Build respectful relationships
2. Reduce stress
3. Create stability
4. Increase positive energy
5. More productivity
6. Build self-confidence
7. Reduce cynicism
8. Cultivate loving relationships
9. Increase in creativity
10. Ability to focus on what really matters

In conclusion, the life we create for ourselves is determined by the attitudes we embody, the people we surround ourselves with and the way we spend our time. Choose wisely.

Listen to what lifts you up and inspires you, and pay close attention to what tears you down or belittles your confidence. Run to the former and run from the latter. Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone.

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At May 30, 2012 at 2:44 AM , Blogger Alys said...

Inisightful and helpful as always :)

At May 30, 2012 at 3:47 AM , Blogger 59strings (@59strings) said...

Lovely, sometimes we challenge ourselves a bit too much by putting ourselves in awkward/uncomfortable environments, saying yes too much just to please people etc. I'll definitely be following these wise words!

At May 30, 2012 at 5:01 AM , Blogger kate xx said...

Lovely article Shannon! Eleanor Roosevelt's quote is just so true! I've been eliminating the drama for the past six months, and while that has meant some friendships have had to go, it really does make time for happiness! With no more worry and anxiety, its a truly lovely feeling! Thanks so much for your great insight, will definitely be referring back to those steps! :) x

At May 30, 2012 at 5:13 AM , Blogger Stephanie said...

I need to put this to practice!

At May 30, 2012 at 5:31 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Shannon ,ce post tombe à pic pour moi ce matin ... Je vais le méditer longuement ! Merci !!

At May 30, 2012 at 5:43 AM , Blogger Jill said...

well said!!

At May 30, 2012 at 7:40 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved this post! Could I please use your words on my blog and link to you? This is so right for me right now!

At May 30, 2012 at 9:47 AM , Anonymous said...

All fantastic advice! I do my best to live by these everyday. Excellent reminder. Thank you!

At May 30, 2012 at 12:29 PM , Anonymous Kayleigh said...

Great post! I made a big effort a couple of years ago to eliminate the drama from my life and let go of people who were dramatic & that brought me down. At the time I thought I was giving up on friends, but now I couldn't be happier that I did it. My life is so much less stressful & full of the people who truly care about me & lift me up

At May 30, 2012 at 12:48 PM , Blogger Talia said...

Lovely advice. I let a 'drama queen' friend go and wish I could say that I miss her. I don't. She was a handful and frankly, a mess. I am much calmer now that she isn't in my everyday life.

At May 31, 2012 at 5:48 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is amazing just like everything you write in your blog
You are truely an insparation and a role model

At May 31, 2012 at 7:14 AM , Blogger The Simply Luxurious Life said...

De rien. :)

At May 31, 2012 at 7:15 AM , Blogger The Simply Luxurious Life said...

Absolutely! Thank you for stopping by. I so happy to hear that the post resonated with you.:)

At May 31, 2012 at 7:15 AM , Blogger The Simply Luxurious Life said...

You're very kind. :)

At May 31, 2012 at 8:41 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you!

At May 31, 2012 at 2:40 PM , Blogger GG said...

It seems that so many of us are addicted to drama and don't know how to function without it. Or addicted to misery. It's very enlightening when you realize that you have a choice what to pay attention to, what to let into your space and how to set boundaries. All we have to do is choose. It's so simple and still so elusive until you have that a-ha moment.

I love your blog.

At October 25, 2012 at 5:42 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

great article, going to get that book....sometimes the drama can be a family member and while very sad to let them go ...for your own happiness it maybe necessary...I know from experience, however in the long run it is the best for much happier.
PS amazing blog 10/10


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