Why Not . . . Have Poise?

With each year on this earth, I continue to look for more clarity, answer more questions and apply those lessons as I go about the business of molding life into my unique masterpiece.  As I move through the decade of my thirties, I reflect back and realize the many ways having poise would have assuaged so many situations that gave me fits. Whether it was mustering up the gumption to speak up for myself or stepping back and simply keeping my thoughts to myself, in hindsight, I am keenly aware that knowing when to react and when to observe can affect the outcome in a magnitude of different ways.

First of all what is poise? Quite simply, “it is a dignified, self-confident manner or bearing”. It is the ability to remain grounded when emotions stir up inside you as well as around you in those people and situations that surround you. In other words, it takes a conscious effort to be poised no matter what situations confront us all.

Today, I’d like to first talk about how each of us can master the skill of having poise in our every day lives, and then the dessert.  I’ll share a few benefits that will hopefully be encouragement to welcome a more composed and ultimately life-improving behavior into our lives.

Be Observant

In order to be confident, and therefore, able to keep balanced, you must be observant of your environment, of events taking place around you, of other people’s actions and simply remain curious about the world around you. By being observant you are welcoming knowledge into your life which will encourage peace of mind and tranquility because once you know about something, you can’t fear it. You may not like it, but you can’t fear it.

Remain Centered

Once you have clear priorities that are helping to propel you toward a life that is designed to cultivate fulfillment, it is easier to remain centered and not be swayed by outside influences that may try to pull you off track.

Tame the Ego

In order to remain poised, the ego that resides in us all must be tamed.  In other words, you must not live a reactionary life.  You must instead live a conscious life that requires you to slow down enough to recognize when your ego is speaking.  Often if the ego is speaking you will be spurred to do something that in hindsight will cause you to kick yourself.  By managing these strong prideful, jealousy-spurred, anger-filled emotions and not letting them push your buttons, the ego is tamed (not extinguished, because it is healthy when kept in check), and you remain poised.

Magnify Strengths

Allowing yourself to be composed is a constant dance to maintain balance, and part of the dance is having the confidence to exhibit your strengths and not be a wall-flower.  Once self-confidence is attained, self-doubt is squashed thereby injecting self-empowerment that helps to nudge each of us to magnify what we can potentially excel at.

 

Benefits

Composed Yet Still Effective

Critics may argue that behaving with such composure results in a mundane existence. Quite frankly, they are incorrect. Once you are observant of what is going on and become aware of potential openings to take advantage of opportunities, you know when the best time will be to take a leap.  This eliminates unnecessary failed attempts and stacks the numbers in your favor for success. The ability to remain calm in actuality give you the power.  Once you allow your emotions to take control, you’ve hand-delivered the power to someone else. So why not decide to rein back in the power you’ve been giving away for free?

Surpass Obstacles

By having poise you become more intriguing because you aren’t trying to constantly impress, thereby creating a bit of mystery.  By having poise, you become more comfortable in your own company because instead of being engrossed in only your business, you become aware of anything that is necessary going on around you which helps to begin conversations, attract attention from those who notice you are astutely aware of what’s going on and insure that at the end of the evening you will be sleeping soundly because you shared just enough, but not too much. By having poise you are not only helping to create a successful professional environment, but a personal life that is healthy, respectful and quite enjoyable.

Maintaining poise in times of great joy and happiness will certainly be an easier task.  It is during those moments that test us to see if we truly are the balanced person we present ourselves to be that will be much more difficult.  In these tough moments, take a breath, pause and remember, be an observer, be reminded of what is most important, tame the ego and let your strengths shine when the timing is right.  Otherwise, just take it all in and don’t reveal extra information or become involved unnecessarily.

Images: (1) Vogue and Coffee (2) Vogue and Coffee (3) Sebastian – Harper’s Bazaar UK November 2011 Kate Winslet